Mom cancels Mother's Day plans after grandma claims 10-year-old son ruined her life: 'I could tell it crushed him'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 12, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

It can't be denied that not every child comes into this world as planned. Whether they were an accident, or it turned out that their family was going to look a little different than it was expected to be, there can be all sorts of surprises when it comes to raising kids.

That being said, it doesn't matter what circumstances a child may be born into—if you're an important adult in their life, it is your responsibility to make them feel safe and loved as they grow up. As many know all too well, things often don't pan out that way. At its worst, this can prove to be a traumatizing experience.

Even those parents who do their best to give their kids the childhood they deserve can sometimes have relatives who are looking to jeopardize that. It is not a situation that is comfortable or easy to handle.  

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    Cheezburger Image 10504667392
    via mohamad azaam

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One mom tried to do right by her son after his grandma said some terrible things in front of him. She had raised the 10-year-old as a single mother, with some help from her mom, although she had always felt she was resentful.

    At a Mother's Day dinner, the grandma said in front of her grandchild that he had “ruined everything”, leading the mom to ask her to leave and cancel the brunch they were due to have the next day. The rest of her family was not happy with her, and she wanted to know if she had overreacted.

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    Am I overreacting for canceling my mom’s Mother’s Day dinner after she told my 10-year-old son he ruined her life?

    For context: I (32F) am a single mom to my amazing son, Liam (10M). His dad dipped when I was pregnant, and my mom (56F) was never exactly thrilled about me having a kid so young. She was always kind of passive-aggressive about it but never outright cruel - until now. I had been planning a nice Mother's Day dinner for her. Like, actually went all out: cleaned my apartment top to bottom, prepped her favorite lasagna from scratch, had Liam help me make a handmade card and even bought flowers (and
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    Then during dinner, out of NOWHERE, she says, and I quote: "You know, if you hadn't had Liam, I could've retired already. I gave up so much because of your choices. He ruined everything." Liam just froze. Like literally stopped chewing and looked down. I immediately told her, "That's completely out of line." She just shrugged and said, "Well, it's the truth. Someone had to say it." I told her she needed to leave. She tried to laugh it off like I was being "dramatic," but I insisted. I didn't yel
    via jeffgotleftontcsht
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    After she left, I comforted my son the best I could. He didn't cry, but I could tell it crushed him. Now here's where I might be the AH: my siblings (I have 2 brothers and a sister) found out I canceled the rest of our Mother's Day plans (we were supposed to go to brunch the next day). They're calling me "sensitive" and saying I "blew it out of proportion" and that "mom's just old-school."
    via jeffgotleftontcsht
  • 05
    But I don't care if she's from 1920 - you don't say that to a CHILD. Especially not one who's literally never done anything but love her. So... Reddit: am I overreacting for canceling the celebration and asking her to leave? Or am I just finally done letting her get away with emotional landmines?
    via jeffgotleftontcsht
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    via Jonathan Borba

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    Commenters unequivocally took the side of the mom and son.

    Dr_Biggie If my mother said that in front of my daughter, that would be the last conversation we ever had. Unless she apologized to my child sincerely and begged for forgiveness, she would no longer be allowed to be in my or my child's life. There's no excuse for making a child feel guilty for simply existing. Your son had no part in deciding whether or not to be born, and he should not be made to feel like a burden by his own grandmother. I don't know about your situation, but it doesn't sound
    via Dr_Biggie
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    obooooooo for real, that is the kind of comment you carry for the rest of your life. my grandpa said some fucked up shit to me as a kid and i'm still working though that as a 24 year old. hearing things like that at such a young age legitimately changes something within you. and OP's mom is so nonchalant about it too, it's disgusting
    via obooooooo
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    TealAirborne NOR. Others have said this but I want to reiterate what an excellent mother you are. You 100% did the right things. By being calm and telling her she can't stay models so many amazing things for your son. There's unfortunately no way to unring that bell for him. He will hold onto those words forever. So telling him he never has to interact with her again if he doesn't want to is a great start. You can reassure him up and down that you don't feel that way. But she does. So going no o
    via TealAirborne
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    different-take4u NOR, maybe it is time for grandma to be in a time out and you tell your son that is what you are doing to punish grandma, same as you would punish him for being cruel to someone. It will show your son that the rules apply to everyone equally, it will piss your mother off when you tell her you are putting her in no contact time out as punishment and to not contact you, that when you are ready you will reach out to her. You will be ready when your son feels he is ready. As for you
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    Allysonsplace "Someone had to say it." ???!!!!!!! WTAF? NO, not a single person had to say that, EVER. Forward this post to all your siblings and ask them again if they're okay with this? Do they know exactly what she said? And that it was IN FRONT OF your 10 year old? I'm so angry I could spit. How's THAT for old fashioned? I could technically be your mom, you're only 2 years older than my son. He's disabled and I'll never have grandchildren, but even without them I'm a better grandmother than
    via Allysonsplace
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    ilovekanye111 NOR keep reassuring your son, i'd cut her out my life for making my kid feel like shit. I feel horrible for him seriously, mothers are insufferable sometimes and this was completely out of line. Do something for your son, say he doesn't have to see her anymore, anything to make him feel loved after that. I'm so sorry you did the right thing
    via ilovekanye111
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    SignalKey5774 I imagine it would make your life more difficult but I really hope you can find a way to never ask her for any help again. Tell her she can retire now and you hope she enjoys her last years without her daughter and grandson and never speak to her again. You didn't overreact. IMO you are under reacting if all you plan to do is cancel Mother's Day
    via SignalKey5774
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    GhostM1st Not overreacting at all! Your siblings can go encourage her bad behavior by continuing with plans, that was way out of line. Sorry for your little man, how heartbreaking. Since she laughed, she sounds like a narcissist, clearly making things about her with no remorse. Take a break and accept nothing less than groveling, with time to rebuild trust.
    via GhostM1st
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    FullLion4225 You and your son did something really nice for her and not only did she poop all over it but she said the worst thing thay can be said to a child. NOR Also, why aren't your siblings coming your defense? Why don't your and your sons feelings matter?
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    Positive_Ad4207 You're under reacting and your siblings are a POS. I'm curious though. Why would she have been able to retire if you hadn't had him? Like where is all this resentment towards a child coming from?
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    Bern_Neraccount Not at all - 10 years old is the beginning of a very vulnerable age. He will remember if you didn't have his back. Instead he will look back on it some day and know his mother supported him - my guess is that this isn't the first time you publicly supported him. I hope he remembers because a lot of kids don't have that, even when their parents mean nothing but love. Good on you.
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    NopeNinjaSquirrel Totally NOR. You don't say that to ANYONE, but especially not an innocent child. What she did is grounds for cutting her out of your life entirely. It's inexcusable! There aren't enough apologies to make this right, and she clearly has no remorse. You stood up for your son. That's your job as his mom. Making sure that he knows that he's your whole world. Your mom and siblings can go fly a kite! Cut the entire toxic lot of them out of your lives
    via NopeNinjaSquirrel
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    IntelligentCitron917 NOR. When you said young I was thinking teenager. Not in your 20's. She could have said No but chose to help you. Yes it was nice of her, but it was her CHOICE I'm glad Liam is 10 as he will be around the age of being able to be more self sufficient and not needing anything from this woman. She doesn't deserve anything from you or your son. Grey rock her. Don't contact her let her do all the running. She will need you before your need her. When she does ask for something tel
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    glowmothh Nope, not overreacting! That was way out of line to say to a kid. You did right by him.
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    Obse55ive NOR. I had my child when I was 19 so I understand where you're coming from. I visit my parents with my daughter every few months and I have a boundary where if she starts bad talking my husband or or my daughter, and even sometimes myself, I will leave. I think my mom has learned to stop the nagging and complaints on that front. Keep your boundaries and protect your child over the comfort of your mom. Also, Happy Mother's Day to you!
    via Obse55ive
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    genn176 Absolutely not over reacting. Who on Earth says that in ear shot of a child? The fact you sent her packing sent a huge message to your son that he has a mum that will always have his back. he will remember and appreciate that for years to come
    via genn176
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    Kitty Taurus 100% agree. Any other reaction would send your child the message that on some level you're OK with what your mother said. As it is you will probably need to have a conversation with him to reassure him that that is NOT at all how you feel. I hope you can somehow turn this into a bonding moment with Liam. My heart breaks for him, no child should ever have to experience that. And I know this is far from being the main point here, but I feel like food is such an important part of famil
    via KittyTaurus
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    NOR Turbulent Teacher5824 I would cut someone out of my life in a heartbeat if they did something like that. That's a reason to burn and salt the earth. I'd let your siblings know that's an option with them as well and ask them how they'd feel if something like that was said to their child. Your mother was completely out of line with that comment and you should be applauded for not yelling and screaming at her because I cannot imagine the strength of will that took. Unless she's willing to truly
    via TurbulentTeacher5824

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